sigh-ness

sigh. is it just me? i seem to feel that i'm being loved much lesser than before. you've got ur newly found friends, i got no one. you spend more time with them than with me. i'll be lying if i say i'm not upset that you have your new friends. i really am upset. i'm so out of place. time spend with me becomes lesser. and i know time spent with me may not be as fun as time spent with them. i'm really trying my best to make every second spent with me is exciting and fun.

and i know you were keeping something from me. something that hurts me real bad. the fact that you even thought about doing it makes me so depressed. haven't you learn your lesson? have you forget about 80-20 thingy? do you want history to repeat itself? it has become much difficult to trust you fully now. you may say its temporary and it's a 'play' thing, but havent you thought about my feelings? if you wanna take the r/s as a 'play', well, i can do it do.

it has become difficult for me to appear in ur blog posts. even our eleven month, it doesnt really feel like our anniversary. sometimes i wonder if we can make it as far as you always said. at this stage, i feel its almost impossible. each time i make a statement about something, you counter back with your angry tone thinking i'm insulting you. your tolerance level has decreased? i really do not know what to do. and if i dont say a word, you'll say i'm angry at you. then what am i supposed to do?

well, i just hope everything turns out fine. i really love you so much and do not want to lose you again. i have given in so much to this r/s but it seems that you're taking advantage of it. sometimes its no use being too nice.
4/06/2009 04:20:00 PM

goal scored!